6.09.2010

On my lunch today...

...I lay on the ground in the sun with my bible on my chest and my eyes closed while I spoke to the Lord. It was absolutely stunning outside. I could have stayed there forever.

"From where then does wisdom come? And where is the place of understanding? It is hidden from the eyes of all living, and concealed form the birds of the air. Destruction and death say, 'We have heard a report about it with our ears.' God understands its way, and He knows its place. For He looks to the ends of the earth, and sees under the whole heavens, to establish a weight for the wind, and apportion the waters by measure. When He made a law for the rain, and a path for the thunderbolt, then He saw wisdom and declared it; He prepared it, indeed, He searched it out. And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to depart from evil is understanding."
Job 28:20-28

6.06.2010

What a beautiful reminder...

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith - the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:3-9

I remember it vividly: a beautiful summer day, the wind gently passing by, Mitchell Park in SLO, a blanket, and three high school girls who thought they were so mature...in reality they were so young.

 But the Lord knew. He knew this scripture was the one He had for us. He knew how many times I would run to these verses. Sometimes I have run to them simply because I find them beautiful. Today I ran to them because they bring comfort. I have seen the Lord prove these words true over and over again in my life. Today will be no different and neither will tomorrow. He is good. He is constant. He will change me for His glory.

"...if need be..." He sees there is a need and He is refining. What joy: there is a reason and a hope!

3.14.2010

A little late...

I made a New Year's Resolution. In March. Ironically it's to not procrastinate/push things aside. Hah.

The Lord allowed me to get to a point where there was so much "pushed aside for later" that it had to be addressed. And then He showed me why.

Not only was I procrastinating on taking things to the Goodwill, getting my oil changed, breaking down some boxes and putting them in the recycling bin...I was procrastinating on getting my heart right with Him.

Those who know me well, and maybe even not so well, know that I am not a very decisive person. I am so afraid of making the wrong decision or desperate to make the right decision that I remain still. No action. No movement. NOTHING.

The funny thing is that as I don't make a decision, I already have. I have chosen complacency, fear, perfectionism.

But the Lord is working to change that. One. Small. Step. At. A. Time. I praise Him for that.

"He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24

"Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:19-23

2.24.2010

Missing Obachan...

I'm missing my grandma today. There was so much to her that I didn't fully recognize until years after she was gone.

She was the most patient person I have ever known. Ever.

She remembered every holiday. She was so quiet that I almost felt I didn't know her...but I did.
She loved her family deeply. She raised my dad with only her parents and siblings to support her.
She was a strong woman, much more so than I ever understood.

She loved me. Her only grandchild from her only child.

She would laugh at me when I called "Yakisoba" "yucky soba".
Don't worry, the "yucky" did not hinder me: it was my favorite thing she made.

She is what makes me so proud that I am Japanese. She is the woman I want to be more like.

She bought me my first cassette tape that was not a "hand-me-down"...Debbie Gibson: Electric Youth.
She and my great-uncle (who my parents had to tell me repeatedly was NOT my grandpa) endured four hours of that cassette tape on the drive from L.A. to S.L.O.

My mom says I have her hands. It makes me cherish my hands.

Right before she died she said she saw me waiting for her. I wish I knew if she really knew the Lord.
I pray that if it's the Lord's will she would be with Him even now. Oh how I loved that teeny, tiny, quiet, and strong Japanese Obachan of mine.

To my Masako. I love you.

11.07.2009

You never know...

...who your words will touch. Last week I was at dinner with a random smattering of people. After we ate, a group of us were sitting around the dinner table joking and talking about the trivial things of life. I was talking with a friend at the table when we realized the conversation had turned serious. Someone had asked, "What is the Lord teaching you right now?" We started sharing what it was we were learning...a close friend shared, a person I had just met that night shared, a friend shared...and then a guy I barely know added on to what the last person had shared. It was meant to be an encouragement to that person...and yet it spoke to me in ways I cannot totally put into words. He shared that as we read Isaiah 52/53 about the suffering servant we can get so focused on the fact that Jesus died for our sins that we overlook something else in the passage...


"He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed."
         Isaiah 53:3-5

This person shared how he had seen the Lord carry HIS grief and I was humbled by the fact that the Lord carried the burden of MY grief and my sorrows. He died for my sin. That alone would be more than I could ever deserve. But he also took my grief and my sorrow to the cross.


In the moments when grief creeps in, Jesus is there. In the moments where it feels like life should not go on, Jesus is there. All the while He whispers that we need not dwell in grief, for He has taken those emotions and nailed them to the cross. He has triumphed over them.


The day after the words were spoken I was caught up in a moment of great grief, but in that moment the Lord reminded me of the guy's words. He whispered to me and amazingly I heard. Did it change my situation? No. Did it make everything right in the world? No. Did it comfort me? Resoundingly YES. Did it remind me that Jesus has my back? Resoundingly YES.


Fast forward a few more days. I was sharing all of this with a close friend. Come to find out the guy who shared this encouragement experienced his mom dying just a few short years ago. He's my age and has two younger siblings. He has walked through a deeper grief than I have ever known. Just two years later he shared this beautiful lesson with someone he hardly knew and changed my perspective on grief.


You just never know who your words will touch.

9.29.2009

Friends...

Balboa Reunion 2009

When we honestly ask ourselves which people in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.
~Henri Nouwen


Lord help us to be those friends!

8.23.2008

Nice Things

I'm updating more regularly...with "Nice Things"

This one's for Gar...

Puke!

4.05.2006

I'm not so good at this game...

Well it's been almost a month and I'm finally posting a second blog...go me! It seems at the moment that our entire household has some sort of "cold" like thing that must be going around. Besides the sickness though, life is good. There seems to be so much more to life than I am experiencing at this moment in time. How funny that I know what I need to do, but I feel like I just don't know where to start. My flesh cries out in selfishness and it does not want to comply. Praise the Lord He will show me how through direction and strength.

3.08.2006

Numero Uno!


Well, this is officially my first "blog"...on THIS blog. I'd love to say something witty and fun, but I'm pooped...litterally. So really this is it for the first blog, nothing too exciting or crazy. "Blog" you later...wow...that was pretty lame!